Here are some of my more stellar, "I can't believe that just came out of my mouth," gems.
Sadly, this is not an exhaustive list.
- Just because you didn't get your way doesn't mean you walk away.
- Before you scream and shout, take a breath and work it out.
- Don't lick that!
- Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you get to stay up all night.
- Coming to the dinner table is a lot like going to a restaurant: No shirt, no socks – no service.
- Seriously, what were you thinking?
- These are your choices for a snack: A banana, a banana, or a banana. Pick one.
- Mommy and Daddy cannot watch another episode of Blue Clues.
- You'll beat me at this game when you win.
- The couch is not a trampoline.
- Get the drumstick out of your nose. You'll get boogers on the drum head.
- How many times do I have to tell you this? Don't—step—on—the—dog.
- Where are your pants?!?